Couples counseling

Beziehung bewegt ® – Psychosozialer Beratungsraum – 1040 Wien – Lisa Vesely, B.A.

Not wanting to lose someone is very different than specifically choosing that person." Unknown

Find your way back to a constructive togetherness and rediscover your affection and desire for each other!

If you have found this page here, then you have already made a big step. Because finding new ways is an essential part of couples counseling. 

Perhaps you have also done your own research and are now familiar with well-known communication rules such as "speak only in I-messages", of which you alone are not quite convinced? 

Nevertheless, do you have the feeling that without a neutral, non-judgmental person you will not be able to get back to the state in which you ultimately fell in love with your partner? First of all, I would like to encourage you: you are not alone in this – and solutions can be found together.

Couples counseling means

  • learning to deal with each other in an appreciative way again.
  • learning to really understand the other person.
  • to use the constructive power of conflicts.
  • regaining mutual respect.
  • breaking destructive patterns.
  • to rediscover a way of dealing with each other that is worth living and loving.
  • to integrate different life models.
  • to rekindle passion.
  • to comprehensively define readiness for oneself.
  • to rediscover and consolidate one's own place within the relationship.

Why seek couples counseling?

Many couples come to the classic point in the course of their relationships where they say, "We can't do it with each other, but we can't do it without each other." That's perfectly normal. The only difference is that some couples accept this situation as a given, come to terms with it in the best case, and break up with it in the saddest case. Other couples, on the other hand, find new ways and know that in many cases they can find their way back to a fulfilling quality of life with professional help. And you also want to do something – otherwise you would not have found the way to me yet. There are many possibilities for change. But in the routine of our everyday life it is normal not to be able to see and perceive these possibilities. I would be happy to support you in taking a step back, to look at your situation together with the distance within a professional counseling and to be able to see, feel and perceive your own possibilities and ways out of seemingly entrenched patterns again.

As a couples counselor I make sure

  • that each of you has the same space and the same amount of time to speak.
  • that both sides are examined in detail.
  • that there is a climate of discussion in which solutions become possible.
  • that unspoken conflicts, which are often hidden by the superficial disputes, are allowed to come up in a protected setting.
  • that communication patterns are broken, the development of which will enable you to deal with each other more constructively in the future.
  • that we search together for what connects and not for what separates you.
  • that each of you can stay well within yourselves.
  • that you both feel comfortable in this setting.
  • that the possibility that one partner or both of you consider a separation to be the best livable solution is not excluded. Should it become apparent to you in our discussions that a separation is necessary for you to maintain your mental health, it is far from my intention to intervene here. However, I will gladly accompany you in your separation process in order to make it as solution-oriented as possible. As a couple or in an individual setting.

What are common concerns in couples counseling?

  • Conflicts in the partnership of any kind
  • Strokes of fate and challenges that overwhelm you as a couple
  • loss of libido and diminishing sexual passion
  • different life plans – "We are so different!"
  • abuse of trust
  • going from being a couple to becoming parents – suddenly everything feels different
  • cheating and affairs
  • decisive steps – moving in together, building a house, family planning
  • power struggles
  • the feeling of not (anymore) being enough for the other person
  • family disputes – in-laws, inheritance issues
  • desire for a child – psychological stress while waiting for a child, resulting couple conflicts, artificial insemination, infertility
  • offenses that seem to be impossible to overcome

Even if you have not found your relationship issue here, please keep in mind: Couples counseling concerns are as individual as the couples who find their way to my practice. Whatever brings you to me – I am there for you: free from judgment and free from interpretation.

Procedure of a couples counseling session

Since in couples counseling sessions both sides always want to be heard and have enough space to reach real solutions, a couples counseling session lasts 90 minutes.

Find your way back to constructive togetherness and rediscover your affection and desire for each other. Make your appointment here.